It has been a heartbreaking couple months in our home as we have walked through the healing process with one of our little ones. It has left me feeling overwhelmed, feeling like I’ve done something wrong – or not given enough, feeling like we may never see the light at the end of the tunnel, feeling heartbroken.
Maybe that is why the recent blog post I read from a fellow foster Momma about the heartbreak of foster care resonated so well with me. At one point she responds to the age-old question “Won’t your heart-break if they go home?” with “My heart is already broken”. Such a simple statement that says so much.
Our hearts are already broken for children and families who find themselves a part of the child welfare system. That is why we choose to foster in the first place.
Our hearts are broken over the abuse and neglect the children who come into our home have experienced.
Our hearts are broken that (as unhealthy and unstable as it was) these children are removed from their family and their home and brought to the arms of a stranger.
Our hearts are broken that we can not undo or fully understand the pain they have experienced.
Our hearts are broken that this child has siblings out there she’s been separated from.
Our hearts are broken the first time you see that hurting little girl play and smile so big it lights up her entire face. A smile like no other, that you could never forget.
Our hearts are broken when their parents continue to let them down and fail to show up for them.
Our hearts are broken when their parents get it together and show they are ready to parent their child and the little one we have loved as our own moves on.
Our hearts are broken when parental rights are terminated making it possible for our child who we love with our entire being to be a part of our family forever. All the while grieving this great loss for our child and her family.
Our hearts break that we can’t do more.
Our hearts break that our country needs a foster care system.
Our heart breaks for all the broken families.
Our heart breaks knowing that for a short time or forever we have been given the gift of loving this child.